Twitching Blobs


The Master Cleanse: What I Shit For Love

The request. “Cleanse with me,” said my live-in lover, Doug. I thought he was offering a sexy middle-of-the-day shower, something we hadn’t done since those blissful first three months of our relationship. That was four years ago in 2002. I pulled my shirt over my head in record Paris Hilton[…]

Because My Mommy Said So

It was the biggest decision of my life and I didn’t want to blow it. I sat cross-legged on the old yellow carpet in my bedroom, surrounded by college applications. Notes were crammed into every margin available in “The College Book,” the bible for high schoolers looking for general outlines[…]

America: The Procreation Nation

Once again, God-fearing patriotic men are fighting to take away women’s rights to abortion and birth control in order to preserve the fabric of America. And as we all know, the fabric of America is woven from our collective ability to get married and procreate. That’s why they want to[…]

Please Read With Your Eyes Closed

“Turn around.” It was the ninth false start I had with my student, Julie, for this one-minute drama exercise. After 20 classes with her, I was familiar with her delay tactics. After standing in place for a half a breath, she’d walk to a corner of the room. I’d gently[…]

My Outgoing Message Is Gay

About 20 years ago, I found myself in a gay bar. I know how that sounds. “You had a personal revelation about your true self while making out with a girl?” No. “Oh, what, did someone get you drunk, drag you into a gay bar and you woke up making out with[…]