The Erroneous Errors of Eros: A Modern Day Fairy Tale

Apr 24
2011

Once upon a time there was a man and a woman who fell madly in love. Although nothing was ever perfect, not even them, they decided to stay together anyway. Their good qualities outweighed the flaws and that was reason enough to spend the rest of their lives together. Man and woman. Male and female. The way it was meant to be, just like all the movies, TV shows, books and their friends said it was.

One day, they met a homosexual couple and called them an abomination of nature.

The gay couple explained that they had met, fallen in love and stayed together despite a lack of perfection just like the straight couple. They were flawed and human and swung at the curve balls of life as best they could. For a while they had to hide who they were, enduring great discrimination and hardship, but eventually they moved to Massachusetts. They were born gay and knew this was the way it was meant to be.

One day the gay couple met a polyamorous group and told them it wasn’t 1968 anymore.

The man & woman & man & woman explained that two of them had met and fallen in love. Then they met the other two and fell in love with them. Sure, it was complicated at times, but wasn’t every relationship? They had to hide who they were for fear of peer rejection – until they moved to Seattle. They all accepted each other for their good qualities and their flaws and knew this was the way it was meant to be.

One day the man & woman & man & woman met swingers and told them cheating ruins a relationship.

The swingers explained they were in a loving, committed relationship but they really enjoyed having sex with other people too. As a couple, they agreed on boundaries and rules and then set off to parties where there was plenty of lube and condoms laid about in pretty packaging. Labels of “homo,” “hetero” and “bi” were discarded and replaced with the word “people.” They made special friends that they “played” with on occasion, but additional emotional relationships wasn’t their bag. They only told a few select friends about their lifestyle, because they feared some would condemn them. But they knew this was the way it was meant to be.

One day the swingers met a couple that started out as a woman and man and then became a woman and transgender woman couple. The swingers’ heads swung around in three full circles.

The two had met and had fallen deeply in love when one was a man and the other a woman, staying together even when it became clear nothing was perfect. But sometime during the mid-nineties, the man finally admitted to feeling like (s)he was in the wrong body. After much psychotherapy, hormone therapy and surgery, she finally felt like herself. She was still in love with the woman and the woman was still in love with the person she had met all those years ago.  “Why would I leave the person I’m in love with just because she finally became the gender on the outside she always felt she was on the inside?” Some friends and family rejected and disowned them, but others didn’t and they knew this was the way it was meant to be.

One day the woman and transgender woman met a pregnant man and his wife. They scolded the pregnant man for not fully choosing one gender or the other.

“We’re just like you,” they explained. He had always felt he was in the wrong body, but he also had a deep desire to carry a child. So he too had therapy and hormone therapy and some surgery. He identified as a male and, since his wife had a hysterectomy, kept his uterus. With the help of a sperm donor and turkey baster, the man became pregnant and the two were ecstatic. At first they hid who they were, but then they agreed to be interviewed on national television in the hopes of educating the public. They raised their happy kid and knew this was the way it was meant to be.

One day the pregnant man and his wife met a brother and sister that were involved romantically. “Now that’s just fucked up.”

“Incest,” the brother and sister explained, “is defined as relations between family members, but most people think it strictly means non-consensual sex between family members. It doesn’t.” These half-siblings shared the same mother and had never met until a family reunion when they were both in their 20’s. They fell in love, and comfortably acknowledged they were just as flawed as all human beings. But the law was in hot pursuit, so they moved to France where they knew they wouldn’t be arrested for loving each other.  It wasn’t, perhaps, the story they expected to tell about their love life, but they knew it was meant to be.

One day, the brother and sister met a 16-year-old girl and 46-year-old man who were madly in love. The siblings just knew the teenager was too young to really know what was going on.

But the 16-year-old girl politely asked that the brother and sister not assume they knew what was going on in her own head. She knew exactly what she wanted. She and her beau explained that they loved, supported and took care of each other. Yes, they were flawed, but weren’t most human beings? To avoid statutory rape charges, they had to move out of the U.S. to Europe until she turned 18, but they stayed together for 22 years. They endured sneers and pointed fingers and loud whispers all their lives but they knew this was the way it was meant to be.

One day, the couple with the 30 year age difference met a happy, single person. And their mouths drew down in frowns, sad for her aloneness.

“But I’m not alone,” she explained. “I’ve had a series of beautiful, loving, committed relationships with wonderful people that lasted years and years. But eventually, the relationship simply doesn’t work anymore. We kiss each other goodbye, stay in touch and move on. People think I can’t stay in a relationship, but in fact, I let relationships that have gone sour be over. This is the way it was meant to be.”

One day the serial monogamist met a single person who had no interest in relationships or sex at all. “Really?”

He explained that he simply didn’t have the desire for either one, so why force himself into an intimate partnership he didn’t want?  It wouldn’t be fair to him or the other person. “Sure, people look at me funny all the time, trying to figure me out like I’m some kind of freak. They present armchair psychoanalysis about my relationship with my mother, my sperm count, my inability to connect to another human being – none of which is true. But I don’t care. This is who I am. This is the way it was meant to be.”

And all his life, that asexual, a-relationship person watches all the movies and TV shows, reads all the novels and articles, looks at all his friends and thinks,

“Man, I just don’t get any of it.”

***

Homosexual Eros:  LAMBDA

Polyamory Eros: Only You. And You. And You.

Transexual Eros:  Scenes From A Marriage

Pregnant Man Eros: Barbara Walters Exclusive

Brother/Sister Eros:  How We Fell In Love

Age Difference Eros:  Bo Derek and John Derek

Serial Monogamy Eros:  Is Serial Monogamy Worth Pursuing?

Asexual Eros:  Asexuals: Who Are They And Why Are They Important?

16 Responses to “The Erroneous Errors of Eros: A Modern Day Fairy Tale”

  1. malicoat says:

    Then there was the person in love with himself … examples too numerous to mention …

  2. D.C. Douglas says:

    Well, I did ask her not to write about me.

  3. Carla Tassara says:

    nice! kinda makes judging other people tiresome after the nth scenario. which rocks. ; )

  4. Jon says:

    Then there's the question of what about the person who wants to marry their horse. Or car. "Where do we draw the line?!!!" are the screams. I'd reply, "With consenting adults."

  5. Robin Dale Meyers says:

    Okay. But now you must define \”adult.\”

  6. Robin Dale Meyers says:

    Full disclosure: I removed a recent comment because the commenter revealed part of a discussion that we were having in a private email, not because he presented his opinion and point of view. I invite that commenter to re-post as long as he keeps our private exchange private. Thanks.

  7. Robin Dale Meyers says:

    Thank you all for reading. My hope is that as you read this fairy tale, you began to discover or question not only \”judgement\” but where you draw the line yourself. I hope you got fired up and shared it with others and had some discussions about human nature, society, culture and how we make sense of it all. Nothing is black and white, so how do we live in a world of gray?

  8. contemplationary says:

    So so true. Your post certainly made me think. Currently exploring my own relationship and thinking about humans as a whole and how we function.

  9. D.C. Douglas says:

    And what about ancient Greece and Rome where it was an honor for 13 year old boys to be deflowered by 50 year old men?

  10. Robin Dale Meyers says:

    Depends on how the 13 year old boys felt about it, I would say.

  11. Rick says:

    It's turtles, all the way down.

  12. Alfi says:

    The a-sexual man met a narcissist. He didn't make any judgmental comments, but suggested the narcissist might be happier if he became a politician.

  13. Dona oxford says:

    Aw.. Such beautiful examples of loving relationship!!
    You can love a man, woman, donkey, or tree but remember kiddies…
    If you masturbate you will go blind!
    🙂

  14. Robin Dale Meyers says:

    I would suggest you get the donkey\’s and tree\’s consent first.

    And if you say \”no\” to you, then you should listen. 🙂

  15. Lauren says:

    50 year old men in Greece weren’t allowed to penetrate said 13 year old boys. Women were frowned upon back then and to penetrate your partner would be to put them in the position of said gender. (It’s a very long-winded explanation.) They practised intercrural sex, and once the boy became old enough he usually married and gained a young lover of his own. They were meant to teach the youth about politics, art, and so forth — because women weren’t equals or capable of grasping such complex concepts, it could not be achieved through the relationship of a man and woman. In fact, it was believed a woman could never truly love a man, because they were inferior. In many Greek legends, myths and so forth women are painted as evil, easily tempted, so on. Or so I have read!

    I think it is wrong that John had sexual relations with a sixteen year old little girl, and I don’t think that at sixteen a woman is finished maturing enough to make the decision to enter into a relationship with a fully grown man. She was suddenly getting all kinds of fame and attention; what if she /had/ been uncomfortable with it but didn’t think she was allowed to say as much? Those years are for exploration of what love, lust, relationships and so on are and I think for an older man to take advantage of it is wrong. (Can you tell I have a sixteen year old little sister? xD )

    Agreed with everything else, though!

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