America: The Procreation Nation

Feb 17
2012

Once again, God-fearing patriotic men are fighting to take away women’s rights to abortion and birth control in order to preserve the fabric of America. And as we all know, the fabric of America is woven from our collective ability to get married and procreate.

That’s why they want to abolish anything that could prevent little human beings from being pushed screaming into the world.

Reality By Appointment

Nov 15
2011

Hulking under huge instruments, the cameramen moved like awkward aliens with no social boundaries. They shifted their focus rapidly without regard to personal space, blinding their subjects with large lights. Every time they approached, I attempted to shrink my 5’2” frame into something even smaller. I tried to be as uninteresting as possible. But most of the party guests were speaking loudly, exaggerating their reactions and even seemed to laugh harder – an odd sound to hear at a small charity benefit.

The Erroneous Errors of Eros: A Modern Day Fairy Tale

Apr 24
2011

Once upon a time there was a man and a woman who fell madly in love. Although nothing was ever perfect, not even them, they decided to stay together anyway. Their good qualities outweighed the flaws and that was reason enough to spend the rest of their lives together. Man and woman. Male and female. The way it was meant to be, just like all the movies, TV shows, books and their friends said it was.

One day, they met a homosexual couple and called them an abomination of nature.

Temporary Asshole

Jan 25
2011

I told someone off yesterday. Someone I care about and want to keep in my life. But I had been complaining about this person for days and I finally couldn’t take it any longer. I sat down and let my fingers fly on my keyboard. I type 70 words per minute; I was surprised I didn’t start a small fire.

Don’t Blame The Road Runner

Dec 05
2010

The Tazmanian Devil cannot stop child abuse. Neither can Fred Flintstone, Bugs Bunny, Bulwinkle, Calvin nor Hobbes. Not even Wonder Woman can stop child abuse.

Last week a well-intentioned trend made it’s way through Facebook. This was the suggestion:

Change your FB profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood. The goal is to not see a human face on FB til Monday, December 6th. Remember your childhood and join the fight against child abuse. Copy & paste to your status to invite your friends to do the same.

Five Foot Two And Still Sane

Nov 08
2010

Right in the middle of the Rally To Restore Sanity, I wanted to tell someone off.

We had gotten to the mall two hours early to ensure a decent spot and settled near the beginning of the middle (insert political joke here) where the Jumbotrons were in view for anyone over 5’6”.  D.C. (my boyfriend, not the city) could see the screens clearly, but I spent much of the 3 hours either on my toes or wavering from right to left (insert flip-flopping joke here) to catch the ever-shifting sweet spot between people that gave me a hand’s width view of either screen.

Be tolerant. Be cool.

Sep 30
2010

Twenty-eight years ago, I sat on the school bus, second seat behind the driver, sweating as a girl-bully mildly taunted me. I didn’t like confrontation; I always felt like I’d lose. Even when the the taunter was a year younger than me. Double humiliation.

Among the things she made fun of – my unruly hair, my not-trendy clothes – she eventually called me “gay” and emphasized her disgust with a perfectly curled upper lip. I rarely felt an opening in a taunt, but this, I thought, just might be one.

Butt Holes, Ice Cream and Why I’ll Never Say I Do

Sep 23
2010

I’m a freak.  According to society, that is.  And society won’t let me forget how different I am. As one side of a happily committed two-gender couple that isn’t married, I don’t fall neatly into one of the labeled mental boxes that most people carry around with them.  Instead, my man and I are subjected to a persistent prejudice against people who can get married but choose not to.

Heavy word, “prejudice”.  But consider that it comes from “pre-judgement” and that’s all I mean.