Wrath Of The Twitching Blob Blog

Feb 06
2015

“Where have you been?!”

My little Twitching Blob Blog was angry. She was spitting and curling her lip and baring her teeth.

“I thought I was your favorite!”

Her claws dug into the computer.

“We were having so much fun and then you left!”

In short, she felt abandoned.

And she was right. My little Twitching Blob Blog and I had explored so much together. We shared our passions, opinions and creative writing. We spoke from the heart, revealed fears and desires, explored satire,  warned readers about temporary assholes and Charlie Sheenapologized,  questioned, exposed and even cleansed. My creativity was blooming and constant and delicious.

And then…well, it all stopped.

“How dare you? Who do you think you are? What the hell were you doing?”

“Stop growling. These are great questions, my little blog. Remember when I became an Acting Teacher and Coach (again) and we wrote ‘Four Words I Never Thought I’d Say‘? Well, that’s who I am. That’s what I’ve been doing.”

“Ooohhhhhh.” She paused. “And you like it?”

“Yes, I love it.”

“Well, that’s good.” She smiled. Her claws retracted.

“In fact, I love it so much I…I have a second blog completely devoted to advice for actors.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

I gingerly pulled her teeth from my eye sockets.

“Don’t be jealous! I’ve never forgotten about you. You’ve always been in my thoughts – ”

“Bullshit!”

” – in fact, I’ve kept a list of ideas and topics and stories I want to explore with you – ”

“Really?”

Yes! And now that I’ve got a handle on my commitment as an acting coach, I can return to you! We can be together again.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise. I can balance both.”

“Both? That bitch!”

“She’s not a bitch, she’s just a different kind of blog.”

“She’s better than me?”

“No, not better. Different. She loves talking to actors. But you? You can do so much more.”

“Damn right I can.”

Damn right! I want to share so much with you, Twitching Blob Blog. Let’s create essays, articles, creative non-fiction and fictional short stories together. Let’s meet up once a month over green tea (okay, you can have your shot of whisky, if you need it), swing around naked in the trees and play. Whattya say?”

She sat back on her haunches, chewed a branch and looked at me askance. Then she started to giggle. And snort. Pieces of branch came blowing out her nose. We had missed each other. She grabbed my hand and scurried up the nearest tree.

 

2 Responses to “Wrath Of The Twitching Blob Blog”

  1. Alfi says:

    OK, now what?

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